You see, I have this really nasty habit of waking up around 11ish on a Sunday morning, looking at my clock, and thinking to myself, "well it's Sunday," and going back to sleep. But let me let you in on something. That next hour I sleep until noon o'clock is the best sleep a girl can get, filled with the most vivid dreams a girl could ever ask for. Except for usually my dreams aren't weird. But this time, they were weird.
Let me fill you in on why this dream may have played out particularly bizarre.
First of all, the last activity on my agenda last night was to catch up on Natalie Holbrook's (aka. natthefatrat) blog. I read it religiously. If you've never had the privilege of viewing her writing, you can read here. It's filled with all things NYC, fashion, and awesomely adorable, chubby babies. I'm in love.
Also last night, I happened to watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" on Netflix. Which kind of had me thinking about "Sleepless in Seattle." I'm not quite sure why. Maybe it's because Sleepless is based on An Affair to Remember. And maybe I just had classic movies running through my brain making correlations with one another? Like I said, I'm not sure why.
Did you know I'm going as Audrey Hepburn for Halloween?
So this dream starts off with Taylor Swift. It's no surprise that Taylor Swift is in my dream, as I thoroughly enjoy her music. And also because I wouldn't mind being life-long friends with her. She seems like a very adorable person. And really, no one wears red lipstick quite like her. Ms. Swift and I decided that we would take ourselves out on a friendly date to a nice restaurant. I'm not sure where we were exactly, but it's safe to say that it had to be somewhere between Savannah, GA and New York, NY. Taylor drove. She nearly gave me a heart attack. Didn't you know Taylor Swift is quite the little Evil Knievel behind the wheel? We drove along a very busy little street in what looked like to be an old town-esque part of wherever we were. It rather much reminded me of Old Towne Fredericksburg where I grew up: a one-way street and lots of shops and restaurants, delicately running business out of 18th and 19th century buildings.
Somewhere along this one-way street we decided to park and find the restaurant we were looking for. We walked and walked, often walking inside a building to pass through and come out in another place completely. Kind of like Alice in Wonderland or The Wizard of Oz. For example, we walked through one building and came out into what can only be described as Queen Victoria's garden. We'll call it that.
This went on for quite sometime, constantly crossing into different places: Venice, Greece, the subway... When all of a sudden we found ourselves at a ball park. When do my wondering eyes should appear but NAT THE FAT RAT! Yes! There she was, rooting on a SOFTBALL game, of all things. I sauntered over to introduce myself, trying not to give off that whole "I-stalk-your-blog-and-oh-my-stars-your-kid-is-so-cute" kind of vibe, but no introduction needed! She knew who I was, which made me confused in my dream brain. I shyly commented on how incredibly jealous I was of her petite stature before she went into a fit of yelling at the ump for some dastardly call.
I'll let you know by this time, Taylor Swift had disappeared. Natalie trumps Taylor, I suppose?
So, come to find out, Ms. Holbrook was somehow involved with this team. I don't know in what way. She wasn't playing obviously, but rather she was rooting and happily schmoozing the player's husbands. (You know, catching up and talking, not flirting. SHEESH. Where are your minds?) Then the weirdest thing happened. One of those husbands came up to me and said something along the lines of, "Vinny told me you were in charge now. So here's a list of the players and their salaries. Thanks, doll." There was the list. And right next to that list was a BIG OLE STACK OF CASH... in very high denominations. Before I could say anything, the guy vanished. So, I scooped up the stack of bills, not sure what to do with it and went and sat back down. I placed the stack under my thigh for safe keeping. THEN I saw a very angry-looking, mobster-type fellow tornado in with that look of, "I'm going to pop off whoever has that cash," so I nervously tried to hide the stack by setting my purse next to my leg. Why I didn't put the cash in my purse in the first place, I don't know. After a few good minutes and lots of panicking, the mob man disappeared.
Which leads us to the next scene.
The next day, I knew I had to find Natalie. I knew that she would know what was going on. So, I made my way to the upper west side. (How I found my way....? Never been to NYC.) I asked to speak with her somewhere other than her apartment because I had the sneaky suspicion I was either being followed or monitored. However, she was eyeballs deep in getting herself and her precious offspring ready for the day so I was forced to covertly speak.
"Do you know anything about this?" (I showed her the stack of cash in my purse.)
"So Vinny got to you," she said. "This is bad. Hang on, let me call Percy."
Percy was played by Tom Hanks. Percy's face never made an entrance, but the voice I could overhear from her phone was distinctly Tom Hanks. I just sat there and nervously picked at my nail polish until she was finished.
"All right. Come here," she summoned.
This next part is the part that made my dream brain wake me up because it was soooo funny.
She said, "Percy said he needs to you to go to some website and type in some password, but I can't say either out loud, for fear that we may be monitored, so I'm going to write it on the....
And if you're laughing right now as hard I was in my dream, you'll know why it ended there.
But I loved it.